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By Lowell D. Streiker

Lowell Streiker's Encyclopedia of Humor presents plentiful "good fresh enjoyable" everytime you desire inspirational slices of lifestyles, bracing quips, quotable knowledge, or a clean dose of nonsense to complement your sermons or talks.

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We had been in our new pastorate ten months when she found out about a dear lady, well meaning, who was bad-mouthing the pastor because I had not yet called on her mother. ) "Tell her to phone me," said my wife. "There are two things I would like to say to her. " I have not heard another word of criticism in the parish. When a church seeks a pastor, they want the strength of an eagle, the grace of a swan, the gentleness of a dove, the friendliness of a sparrow, the eye of a hawk, and the night hours of an owl.

After completing his act, he would then challenge his audience to produce anyone who could extract even one drop of juice from the crushed fruit. On one of these occasions, a little man volunteered. He was so diminutive that his very appearance raised a laugh from the spectators. Undaunted, however, the man stepped onto the stage and took from the athlete what appeared to be nothing more than a shriveled-up piece of rind. Then bracing himself, he firmly compressed his right hand. Every eye was on him, and the atmosphere was electric!

The seal of the confessional," he said, "can never be broken, and so I can only hint gently of my impressions when I first came here twenty-five years ago. Oh, I thought I had been assigned a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set, and when stopped by a policeman, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an adulterous affair with his partner's wife. I was appalled.

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